ADHD and Prejudice to Medicines

ADHD has been clinically observed since 1798, there are people diagnosed with ADHD over 70 years old today, so it is not a current "screen generation" disorder. The problem is a physical structural problem in the development of the brain and not abstract, in the matter of not knowing how to deal with frustrations and adopting distraction as a "defense"... Does anyone really think that a person with ADD chooses to be distracted, to have difficulties in school, social and in the relationship, not being able to regulate the focus, even in the moments when the person wants the most and end up suffering because of it? Someone with this type of disorder not only learns to deal with frustrations (by dealing with a lot of them in various areas of life), but learns better than some who don't have ADHD to deal with it.

Just because the author of attention deficit disorder (misnamed) said the disorder was something he sort of discovered doesn't mean the condition has ceased to exist. ADHD is a quantitative issue. The main problems are: distraction, low emotional regulation and impulsivity. To explain these three, a dynamic integration of various parts of the brain is required, making everything very complicated to study. Even though ADHD is the most well-known disorder in psychiatry, there is still no explanation or cure for the disorder. There are so-called remissive cases in ADHD, where the person in adulthood loses part of the symptoms, but there is no exact reason why certain people continue with the disorder or not.

Within the academy, whether in private or public education, or sometimes even through the irresponsible 'sealing' of the most conservative, there is a lot of dualism between biological and psychological and a repulsion to the first by poorly informed psychology students, mainly due to the influence of some teachers and materials. Of course we should be critical of everything, the pharmaceutical industry and how teaching is presented and so on. but ignoring the biological issue is a big mistake, as was depression and other conditions more accepted now.

The arguments of some ''professionals'', whether coaches (many with crp) or other types, are a disservice primarily by a) Generating the impression that ADHD is a disorder invented to sell psychostimulants, and treatment with psychostimulants improves and the life of those who have this disorder, making them able to finally achieve goals in life. It is also possible to treat the disorder without the use of medication (each case is different), but with quality psychotherapy (it would be good to use both if possible); b) Assign a fallacious cause to the current generation "screen generation" as the possible problem. Since previous generations reported the same suffering with the disorder, in addition to being a disorder that can be hereditary (genetic), in this case not having much to do with the environment in which the person was exposed; and c) Blaming the person with the disorder for "preventing" (as if that were possible or controllable) the stimulus from reaching the brain and instead of dealing with it, he is "escape" from the situation.

In addition, certain ''therapies'', such as those that repeat cliché terms such as ''limiting beliefs'' and lists of goals, such as THE SOLUTION for the person with such disorder, making them believe that they will be ''cured. '' after she reconnects with her "me" again... This is no different from cancer cure religious quackery or "soul surgery" in mystical temples that are usually on a very strange corner downtown (almost most of the time these "surgeries" kill people).

Anyone who is diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood and currently takes medication feels how these medications would have helped positively in school life during childhood and adolescence, marked by many frustrations related mainly to school performance. There is a whole context of "what is behind each disease", but there are really scientific studies proving a differentiation of the brain of people with and without ADHD.

As much as one has the privilege of having psychiatric consultations and paying for medication (and nowadays it is more accessible) those who choose to abstain and raise flags against medication have the privilege of time and luck; time for alternative ''therapies'', time for so many lotus pose meditations, time to abstain, and perform your "personal discovery" (often the famous ''good vibes'') and fulfill an endless list of required goals by the coaches (many of them with register). But unfortunately a lot of people don't have that time, they have to work hard, support the family or in more complicated personal cases, they need to become financially independent from some toxic ''family'' as soon as possible, study (or have to become  addicted to examinations of state enterprises as the rule has been for more than a decade) and the process of ''inner discovery'' ends up being sidelined.

Medicines like Concerta is not a methamphetamine, the principle is literally the same as Ritalin, which is Methylphenidate, the only difference is that the dose is higher, but the capsule has a slow release technology, according to which methylphenidate has minimal levels of addiction (if consumed in the right way and by those who really have ADHD). The medication that has a similar formulation is Venvanse, but it is formulated with L-lysine precisely to reduce this addictive aspect and a competent doctor should know this. ADHD is a chronic physiological condition, that is, there is no cure, because it is not properly a disease. Imagine a doctor who tells a type 2 diabetic patient (which is how ADHD is a hormonal condition, but a disease, in a very reducible comparison) that he will no longer be able to prescribe a certain medication since the patient can reverse diabetes by changing lifestyle, exercising and diet? Can medication 'weaning' occur? Yes, but it cannot be done in any way, just because you feel "cured" or because you have fulfilled and tripled all the coach's goals.

Beware of these types of "experts" who claim that the area itself is the solution to all their problems and who unfortunately are making a lot of money from it. Don't consider everything these people say just because he's an "authority" on the subject or in the therapeutic place, or he's a professor at USP (state university in Brazil), YALE (private university of the Yve league in the USA), or whatever. ... Question these types of people and research the contrary argument, to see if the other magical argument really holds up. If you suspect that you have the disorder, seek an appointment with a neurologist or psychiatrist to confirm or not the diagnosis, preferably a specialist who is not arrogant and does not sell solutions for everything. Taking medication does not mean that you will be dependent on it, much less your whole life and that one day you will not be able to give up the medication when things are more settled, balanced and you have found a greater reach over the difficulties of ADHD.

The ideal would be to unite these two worlds, the world of medication and the world of psychotherapies. Within psychology and psychoanalysis we should not blame people who seek the most effective method in the short term at the beginning of treatment, even as a matter of emergency, even more so because we must be understanding and empathetic with the social and personal issues involved. Not everything is solved with lists of goals and "individual effort" without brakes. Time is money, and we must respect the decisions of others until they have conditions, whether psychological or financial, to achieve this much desired ''self-knowledge''.

Narcissists and superficial relationships

Narcissists choose 'crush' based on the fact that they increase their self-esteem. As this need is continuous, they don't have much incentive to hope to get to know a person better with whom they initiate contact and commonly set out for wedding plans. What attracts narcissists the most aren't lasting personal qualities. As long as the person has an elevated status in its eyes (in the case that the 'cerebral' narcissist is supposed to be a 'genius', for example) and believes that the person is incredibly supreme, then with all these qualities the narcissist is usually willing to go ahead with the sudden 'relationship' in full swing, even if it's with a stranger who makes mysterious calls📱. Its real interest is fanciful and idealized.

 

What narcissistic and borderline have in common making them prone to choosing each other: both quickly form intense 'romantic' connections based on very little information and knowledge about the other person. Idealizing that the stranger is the 'greatest' genius in the world 'and a' copy 'of yours, would be enough for the 'cerebral' narcissist, for example. Most people who aren't Borderline or Narcissist tend to take a long time to decide if the new crush is "the one". Borderlines and narcissists fall in love and relate instantly when they barely know each other, often believing in the 'soulmate' myth. 

In bordelines and narcissistic individuals, at first, everything can seem very happy because both share the ability to make romantic connections very quickly, artificially and apparently 'intense', without looking too closely at the other person's real personality. For these people, the 'personality' of a person is simply to be what they appear, what they sell, what they fantasize and idealize. Each sees the other as a great dream come true. They live on fantasies, idealizations and ghosts.

Narcissists continually seek the perfect match. Perfect like them. An unreal and idealized love that no one else can give. Perhaps that explains why everything seems so perfect when starting a relationship, even on the📱 with someone like that. As this ideal person (in the narcissistic parameters) doesn't exist and over time the idealized person with personal contact becomes increasingly accessible and real, the narcissist seeks satisfaction in primary sources of narcissistic supply such as status (the 'cerebral' narcissist would be supposed 'superior genius'), high positions, awards, flattery.

In the narcissistic man, his frequent 'Peter Pan Complex' and in some cases Oedipus Complex seeks a maternal figure who cares his life, even if he is a complete stranger on the📞 who seems 'genius', in the 'cerebral' narcissist case. Thus, people, whose vital energy nourishes them, are secondary sources of narcissistic supply. Having someone, is to be flaunted by beauty or genius, to leave them with a good social impression.

The narcissist and the borderline, if they don't seek psychological support, aren't healthy and happy options for long-term relationships, as the initial phase of perfection and idealization will end and will be a lot of emotional and mental wear for those who relate with these manipulative, toxic and self-centered people. When realizing these typical behaviors, the best thing to do is to encourage psychotherapy.

Narcissists win over people (some types) easily!

Narcissists are dressed up in a fake 👻 'self' created and uploaded as real. They invent characters for convenience and momentary interest and live like characters. Because of the admiration they attract, family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances often support them by becoming “facilitators”. By inventing character, everything is easy for narcissists. In record time or superficial contacts📞 many fall madly in love with them, considering 'soulmate', want to live with them or start marriage plans soon. By playing a role, they will not keep the mask with the real coexistence for a long time. 

  

Pretending requires effort, narcissists have slips that (for someone informed, balanced, healthy, intelligent, experienced, self-esteem, friends and family who alert), are disturbed clear. Typical targets are 'old romantic', desperate for marriage/kids, lonely/unlucky, adventurous, losers alleged 'nerdy', with difficulties in social interaction and relating emotionally, who think themselves 'special/genius' (sometimes, a silly narcissist), who idealize 'perfect' match/relationship, etc., so they are not suspicious of the narcissist's 'magic'. When does not seek psychotherapy, becomes an easy target for narcissists.

Narcissists influence decisions to arrest the target. They hear the yearnings to accurately mirror them. If has access to target data/information📞 it becomes easier. They mimic the target's dreams and soon become a 'soulmate'. Does the target want to marry/kids? The narcissist wants it too. Lonely? The narcissist will be the 'friend'. Neglectful with something? The narcissist will 'lecture' about. So ahead.

 

They manipulate the target when convenient and never stick to it, 'marriage' is just a promise, part of the initial idealization and will not happen “for some reason that target caused…” Many narcissists are married, engaged, dating and when they want to jump out of relationship or bored, they look for the next target, keeping the decaying relationship in reserve and hiding the truth from the target. When the target finds out, narcissistic makes up fantasies that hid truth to 'protect' it and not get it into 'trouble'. Supposed 'smart' target believes or doesn't care and still elects narcissist 'first boyfriend/girlfriend'.

Being convenient, represents interests such as: status of the target, fantasy, ideal, challenge, adventure, attractive appearance of the target or prove that they are suitable, capable of forming 'family'. Often, they marry shortly after a traumatic break with another person with a vindictive aim, for a narcissist it is only a means to an end. In the narcissist's fantasy everything is justified for what it desires and is convenient.

Determined to attract target, they bombard attention, demonstrations of 'affection', 'lectures' (verbose 'outbreaks'), showing how genial and helpful they are to dedicate hours, days and even months to a stranger who barely knows or knows nothing if it is an 📞affair for example. It comes to the point that the target is totally dominated and addicted to the dreams 'relationship' by someone so 'smart, cute, perfect and similar', so the target loses total discernment to the point of choosing the narcissist 'Miss World' or 'Mister World' , eloquently.

Narcissists use romantic, sometimes 'intellectual' pyrotechnics to distract the target so that its real spectrum is not seen. Succession of alleged 'intelligence' through 'lectures'📞 love declarations, personality identification and surprises do not allow the target to think with discernment. The target may have an intuition of something wrong, but is constantly distracted and fails to form logical thinking. There are also narcissists manipulating others narcissists.

To gain attention, the narcissist stages positive emotions instigating charm and seduction to conquer the target, controlling attention and confidence📞 This includes eloquent flattery, appeal to vanity, ego, simulation of sympathy and acceptance, hasty closeness and intimacy. Everything to deserve special attention that they believe deserve. However, behind this desire for attention, there is often a very fragile self-esteem with serious problems of attachment, trust and security.

 

To break the cycle: cut quickly, clean and whole in any contact with the magic manipulator. Until it acts, the 'vampire', target's so-called 'reflection' and 'soulmate', will continue for more and more saying everything the target wants to hear for the umpteenth time, until when there is nothing left of the person it is, and the narcissist reveals itself as it has always been, an eternal 👻 parasite, fantasy of an artificial, superficial, fake and manufactured relationship. In short, an invented 'love'.

The myths 'soulmate' and 'falf face'.

The 'soulmate' myth, as obsession  is damaging and toxic, many people subject to unhappy situations for an idealized relationship. Just as the 'half face' myth, imprison people.

  

                                                          

 

In approximation, many people usually present themselves as if were 'gods' of perfection and identification with each other, make us believe that they are incredible, special, genius and that they were 'manufactured' and sent by beings of stars perfectly for love interest, the 'crush' and to make happy. With coexistence, these supposed perfect and idealized "gods" tend to fall from altar on which they were placed in the first meetings, affair, relationship, etc. After some time with living together, these people can turn out to be healthy real beings or “childish adults”, “narcissists” manipulators, “ghosts”, among other toxic types for long-term relationships.

We are fallen gods when we become real. But then there are some gods who are toxic. When we are a normal person, we are a fallen healthy god with qualities and defects. When we “deify” someone and the relationship ends in deification state and superficiality of idealization, in which the defects are not seen, and has not yet fallen from altar, that's when it becomes even more difficult to overcome the end of the relationship because it is an idealized and fanciful image of person being 'soulmate' promised by universe, who lost and who in the future will only be happy by half or even if is happy with another someone, believes that there will always be 'something' missing. Pure illusion! And this can still cause difficulties to be happy.

As for the 'soulmate' belief becoming obsessive, can never live an intensely happy and healthy relationship, because will always be waiting for the 'lid for the pot'. The question of 'half-face' belief is when meet someone or ''found by someone'', or waiting to meet someone, and it is believed that person would be 'soulmate' and, therefore, many people subject to absurd situations to be in a relationship that they considered perfect at the beginning and it is not known how things changed with time when the idealized 'god' fell from altar and they do not accept that the partner they would judge perfect became real. When the situation gets even worse, the real person can be bad and you need to wake up.

 

The attachment 'soul mate' belief, makes a fantasy and obsessive search (relationship with stranger idealized projection, perfect character, itself 'copy'), playing a strange to prove that its 'half face' or 'soulmate'. People selling an image that would be 'clone' in all senses, mirror reflection of who believes is 'soulmate', even convince that are equals in everything, way dressing, speaking, same tastes, interests, gestures, etc. When a strange has access phone, occupation...through 'medical record' or other ways, etc., it's easier playing a similar character and look 'soulmate'.

The 'soulmate' myth is damaging to a healthy relationship. To be continuously searching for or waiting for the perfect, ideal person corresponds to a toxic and pathological personality. This toxic personality can be considered “pathological believers”, who would be these people obsessed with the ideal of the soulmate, especially when a relationship ends (even if it was a superficial relationship by phone, internet, letters) in the idealization, fantasy and projection phase and the special and perfect 'god' did not leave the altar, or only in initial conversations and meetings in which they want to do the same things, talk about the same things and for this they believe to be 'soulmates'. Anyway, a fantasy without daily coexistence with a real person.

 

The 'soulmate' myth feeds the misleading and damaged idea that love is something that starts from the outside and that depends on half of another person to make it totally right. The responsibility for the success or failure of the relationship lies in the luck (or lack) of finding perfect partner destined. If the pathological believer is not convinced that has found 'soulmate', will not invest heavily in a relationship with a real person. In these beliefs there be indication of a future abusive and toxic relationship on the pathological believer part, who believes that has not yet found (or lost) the 'soulmate'. Who believes that found it, but is rejected, it can cause a low self-esteem in relation to idealized partner that would be 'tailor-made'. It can cause rejection, if believe a person wouldn't be the 'soulmate'. So, to feed the 'soulmate' myth it's bad for people.

When the pathological believer does not believe that is relating 'soulmate', or that 'lost' in a affair still in the deification phase, may act in an abusive manner with its current partner and that made it real with coexistence, always humiliating and placing defects, reducing it even if only by thought. Or when someone believes that has found soulmate, but realizes that is not as or more corresponded as before and subject itself to everything to satisfy its idealized 'god' and that believes that was made exclusively for its. The fanciful idea that there is a 'soul mate' also mortgage happiness and not fully live a healthy and happy relationship with a real person instead of the imagination of a special 'ideal' of the custom-made world, made by people who knew little about themselves. 

Thus, in psychotherapies there is a demand people with a character still idealized about someone in whom believed to be 'soulmate'. That person who was perfect, 'lid of the pot' that was missing to fill its void, fantasies and dreams of 'fairy tales'. If you stay focused on this issue, you will never live a relationship intensely and you will not be happy, because you will always be waiting for what will never come, that doesn't exist in truly, only temporarily for people who don't really know each other yet. For with the end of the 'deification' phase, a real person in the relationship would come (which ended in the 'deification' phase, hence the obsession). If this phase and obsession cannot be overcome, the pathological believer requires therapeutic follow-up. Healthy adult people want and need real people, not limiting seek waiting eternally 'halves' and 'twins' idealized in fantasies, phone, internet, few dateing...

NOTE Some fans of US TV serie Criminal Minds devoted to the character Spencer Reid and his affair interest recurring character Maeve Donovan, often repeat the term soulmate to refer Spencer Reid's (psychology graduate) phone affair with Maeve Donovan (geneticist). Attachment to 'soul mate' beliefs is an eternal fantasy and obsessive search (strangers project themselves into a perfect ideal character, 'copy' of the other). A stranger convinces the 'soul mate' to be 'made for each other', representing a 'clone' image in all senses, a reflection in the mirror of someone who believes he is a 'soulmate' and equal in dressing, speaking, gestures , likes, interests, accessing information and data, etc., you will notice details about the crush and create a similar character. Pop culture influences this as ''natural and spontaneous'' in American literary series and TV. The Criminal Minds series romanticized a geneticist plot with access to ''patient'' exams arranged through email or phone contacts after allegedly praising an article about this ''patient'' who knows where, maybe over the internet although this agent ' 'genius'' hates the internet, it is not known how this ''patient'' sent the exam, if it was by mail or if they agreed to leave the exam somewhere for her to pick up without meeting or if he only sent the report of the exam by fax, photograph, etc., this was a mystery and all very superficial. This geneticist exchanged mysterious phone calls with this admirer ''patient'' (he didn't know her at all, just by her first name) deciding when he should get in touch with her, while she offered ''medical advice'', motivational, recommending vitamins, good nights sleep all over the phone. The geneticist and this admirer ''patient'', who was an FBI agent and considered a ''genius'', started flirting and exchanging confidences in which they seemed to be pretty much the same person and she occasionally spoke at high speed bizarrely like him. Over time he began to disobey her by calling her from pay phones every day, completely obsessed, addicted and emotionally dependent on a stranger who seemed increasingly to be identical to him in everything as his FBI coworkers supported this ' 'phone affair'' extolling the agent and the geneticist as ''genius''. The geneticist even made a statement to the agent, and a colleague of the agent asked him why he didn't respond to a stranger's statement. This agent was a needy and immature man of about 31 years old, traumatized and of low self-esteem over his standard appearance of a tall, white, light-eyed man, he was regarded as a ''nerd'', narcissistic trait proud of being a ''genius '' validated by his co-workers, was a psychology graduate (supposedly autistic, schizophrenic/borderline conditions vaguely stated in the series; he did not do psychotherapy and neglected his mental health) fantasized months hanging in payphone booths for incredible, miraculous and endless coincidences of having just about everything in common with a complete stranger. Even straightening his shirt collar in the mirror was the same. The agent ''patient'' didn't know about the geneticist's fiance and her sinister trouble with a stalker. Dazzled by attracting an ideal, 'maternal', 'genial', 'identical' to him and mysterious, the patient fantasized the geneticist as his '1st girlfriend', deifying her. This fanciful plot made many fans of the serie believers in the 'soul mate' myth.  When doesn't seek psychologist help, it's really more difficult to overcome.

 

Would Spencer Reid, 'focused on science', be a soulmate myth pathological believer? He neglect his mental/emotional health, not looking specialized psychological help needed. In 15 years there were traumas and alleged psychological 'disorders' superficially mentioned have been accumulated. The 'eternally tormented genius' sold well became 'sexy'. What good is the soulmate myth that Spencer Reid and Maeve Donovan fans, often pedantically repeat and seriouslly believe? What is the relevance, utility, need for soulmate myth? What does this belief interfere with and add to a real, happy and healthy relationship? This myth doesn't make people happy. This magical thought is neither healthy in fiction nor in reality. Mention for maintaining Spencer Reid's platonic crush for a married coworker. Spencer Reid and obsessions for inaccessible and mysterious women, 'perfect match', ideal affair, picturesque, women who are his copies, bizarre adventures, maternal figures, fantasies, ghosts...Many reasons to seek psychotherapy.

The Spencer Reid and Maeve Donovan phone affair ended in the 'godification' stage between strangers, as the recurring character died in fantasy phase there remained an illusion and obsession in fans that Maeve Donovan should be Spencer Reid's 'soulmate' for even the way to adjust a clothing in the mirror was the identical as that of Spencer Reid and ''only Maeve Donovan would give Spencer 'genius kids'...'', eugenic thought.Ironically, Maeve Donovan spoke quickly as if she were 'lecturing' in a similar way to Spencer Reid in one of the FBI agent's strange phone calls in phone booths, about the Nazi doctor Mengele. While fans of the ''powerful genius soul mates'' duo repeatedly repeat that Maeve Donovan would be the only woman in the world to have ''genius kids'' with Spencer Reid, something Mengele would be proud of. Healthy people seek affinities, narcissists need soulmates. For these reasons, with the fiction exemple, it is difficult to overcome the end of affair in initial godification stage among strangers, as the soulmate myth carried too far can become toxic, abusive, frustrating, depressive, sick and the need for psychotherapy to overcome becomes even greater.