Narcissists and superficial relationships

Narcissists choose 'crush' based on the fact that they increase their self-esteem. As this need is continuous, they don't have much incentive to hope to get to know a person better with whom they initiate contact and commonly set out for wedding plans. What attracts narcissists the most aren't lasting personal qualities. As long as the person has an elevated status in its eyes (in the case that the 'cerebral' narcissist is supposed to be a 'genius', for example) and believes that the person is incredibly supreme, then with all these qualities the narcissist is usually willing to go ahead with the sudden 'relationship' in full swing, even if it's with a stranger who makes mysterious calls📱. Its real interest is fanciful and idealized.

 

What narcissistic and borderline have in common making them prone to choosing each other: both quickly form intense 'romantic' connections based on very little information and knowledge about the other person. Idealizing that the stranger is the 'greatest' genius in the world 'and a' copy 'of yours, would be enough for the 'cerebral' narcissist, for example. Most people who aren't Borderline or Narcissist tend to take a long time to decide if the new crush is "the one". Borderlines and narcissists fall in love and relate instantly when they barely know each other, often believing in the 'soulmate' myth. 

In bordelines and narcissistic individuals, at first, everything can seem very happy because both share the ability to make romantic connections very quickly, artificially and apparently 'intense', without looking too closely at the other person's real personality. For these people, the 'personality' of a person is simply to be what they appear, what they sell, what they fantasize and idealize. Each sees the other as a great dream come true. They live on fantasies, idealizations and ghosts.

Narcissists continually seek the perfect match. Perfect like them. An unreal and idealized love that no one else can give. Perhaps that explains why everything seems so perfect when starting a relationship, even on the📱 with someone like that. As this ideal person (in the narcissistic parameters) doesn't exist and over time the idealized person with personal contact becomes increasingly accessible and real, the narcissist seeks satisfaction in primary sources of narcissistic supply such as status (the 'cerebral' narcissist would be supposed 'superior genius'), high positions, awards, flattery.

In the narcissistic man, his frequent 'Peter Pan Complex' and in some cases Oedipus Complex seeks a maternal figure who cares his life, even if he is a complete stranger on the📞 who seems 'genius', in the 'cerebral' narcissist case. Thus, people, whose vital energy nourishes them, are secondary sources of narcissistic supply. Having someone, is to be flaunted by beauty or genius, to leave them with a good social impression.

The narcissist and the borderline, if they don't seek psychological support, aren't healthy and happy options for long-term relationships, as the initial phase of perfection and idealization will end and will be a lot of emotional and mental wear for those who relate with these manipulative, toxic and self-centered people. When realizing these typical behaviors, the best thing to do is to encourage psychotherapy.

Narcissists win over people (some types) easily!

Narcissists are dressed up in a fake 👻 'self' created and uploaded as real. They invent characters for convenience and momentary interest and live like characters. Because of the admiration they attract, family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances often support them by becoming “facilitators”. By inventing character, everything is easy for narcissists. In record time or superficial contacts📞 many fall madly in love with them, considering 'soulmate', want to live with them or start marriage plans soon. By playing a role, they will not keep the mask with the real coexistence for a long time. 

  

Pretending requires effort, narcissists have slips that (for someone informed, balanced, healthy, intelligent, experienced, self-esteem, friends and family who alert), are disturbed clear. Typical targets are 'old romantic', desperate for marriage/kids, lonely/unlucky, adventurous, losers alleged 'nerdy', with difficulties in social interaction and relating emotionally, who think themselves 'special/genius' (sometimes, a silly narcissist), who idealize 'perfect' match/relationship, etc., so they are not suspicious of the narcissist's 'magic'. When does not seek psychotherapy, becomes an easy target for narcissists.

Narcissists influence decisions to arrest the target. They hear the yearnings to accurately mirror them. If has access to target data/information📞 it becomes easier. They mimic the target's dreams and soon become a 'soulmate'. Does the target want to marry/kids? The narcissist wants it too. Lonely? The narcissist will be the 'friend'. Neglectful with something? The narcissist will 'lecture' about. So ahead.

 

They manipulate the target when convenient and never stick to it, 'marriage' is just a promise, part of the initial idealization and will not happen “for some reason that target caused…” Many narcissists are married, engaged, dating and when they want to jump out of relationship or bored, they look for the next target, keeping the decaying relationship in reserve and hiding the truth from the target. When the target finds out, narcissistic makes up fantasies that hid truth to 'protect' it and not get it into 'trouble'. Supposed 'smart' target believes or doesn't care and still elects narcissist 'first boyfriend/girlfriend'.

Being convenient, represents interests such as: status of the target, fantasy, ideal, challenge, adventure, attractive appearance of the target or prove that they are suitable, capable of forming 'family'. Often, they marry shortly after a traumatic break with another person with a vindictive aim, for a narcissist it is only a means to an end. In the narcissist's fantasy everything is justified for what it desires and is convenient.

Determined to attract target, they bombard attention, demonstrations of 'affection', 'lectures' (verbose 'outbreaks'), showing how genial and helpful they are to dedicate hours, days and even months to a stranger who barely knows or knows nothing if it is an 📞affair for example. It comes to the point that the target is totally dominated and addicted to the dreams 'relationship' by someone so 'smart, cute, perfect and similar', so the target loses total discernment to the point of choosing the narcissist 'Miss World' or 'Mister World' , eloquently.

Narcissists use romantic, sometimes 'intellectual' pyrotechnics to distract the target so that its real spectrum is not seen. Succession of alleged 'intelligence' through 'lectures'📞 love declarations, personality identification and surprises do not allow the target to think with discernment. The target may have an intuition of something wrong, but is constantly distracted and fails to form logical thinking. There are also narcissists manipulating others narcissists.

To gain attention, the narcissist stages positive emotions instigating charm and seduction to conquer the target, controlling attention and confidence📞 This includes eloquent flattery, appeal to vanity, ego, simulation of sympathy and acceptance, hasty closeness and intimacy. Everything to deserve special attention that they believe deserve. However, behind this desire for attention, there is often a very fragile self-esteem with serious problems of attachment, trust and security.

 

To break the cycle: cut quickly, clean and whole in any contact with the magic manipulator. Until it acts, the 'vampire', target's so-called 'reflection' and 'soulmate', will continue for more and more saying everything the target wants to hear for the umpteenth time, until when there is nothing left of the person it is, and the narcissist reveals itself as it has always been, an eternal 👻 parasite, fantasy of an artificial, superficial, fake and manufactured relationship. In short, an invented 'love'.